The Dinner Club
by The Simpsonizer
Summary: In this homage to the 1980s Brat Pack movie The Breakfast Club, Lemmy, Iggy and Morton ruin dinner with Ludwig's parents. As punishment, Bowser locks them in his throne room and orders one of them to write a letter of resignation before 8 PM or all of them will be fired.


**Hello. This is my first fanfic, so please enjoy. Keep praise and constructive criticism at an appropriate level.**

Bowser is asleep in his throne room, dreaming of the killing Mario and stealing Peach's kingdom as usual.

"Yes…yes…the world is mine…zzzzz" Bowser snored when suddenly a loud banging on the door startled him awake.

"UGH! Come in." He groaned.

Ludwig von Koopa angrily barged in, grumbling profanities to himself.

"Are you kidding me, Bowser?!" Ludwig growled.

"What the hell are you talking about?! What did I do?!" Bowser shot back.

Ludwig said in a scolding tone, "My parents are coming over for dinner tonight! I told them I work for a king in a castle and not for some slob at a dead end job! Look at your castle! It's a pigsty!"

Bowser was confused and blurted, "You are not making any sense!" He looked to Kamek. "Kamek, what is he talking about?"

"Well…" Kamek was hesitant to answer. He showed Bowser the surveillance monitor and saw that the dining room is a mess. The Koopalings and Bowser Jr. were all horsing around. Lemmy rode Iggy like a horse. Morton was playing football with Roy, knocking over chairs in the process. Junior, Larry and Wendy were tossing plates like Frisbees. Surprisingly, the feast consisting of caviar, stroganoff, ham, turkey, lobster and a huge chocolate cake was untouched.

"Uh oh." Bowser gasped and rushed to dining room.

"YEEHAW!" Lemmy cried out. "Go long!" Morton called out to Roy. "Catch!" Junior shouted.

"Ahem." Everyone stopped cold and saw Bowser glaring at them. "What would Ludwig's family think of this!? I could just…just…" They smiled nervously, dropped everything and scurried away, not wanting to face his wrath or witness him have a heart attack.

Bowser face palmed and said, "I'm gonna take this all out of their salaries. Come on, Ludwig. We've got work to do." Ludwig rolled his eyes.

* * *

After a half-hour of cleaning, mopping, sweeping, fixing the chairs and plates, the room was good as new. Suddenly, the doorbell rang.

"They're here!" Ludwig rushed to the door and opened it.

There were two koopas. The mother looked like an older version of Wendy with a blue shell and glasses. The dad was taller than Ludwig and had his hair along with a blue mustache.

"Hello, dearest mother and father." Ludwig greeted and eagerly shook their hands and gestured to Bowser. "This is King Bowser Koopa, King of the Koopas."

"Please, just call me Bowser." Bowser replied.

"Charmed." Mr. and Mrs. von Koopa said, shaking his hand as well. "We assume Ludwig does well in his job?"

"Well, he is the most reliable." Bowser joked. "You guys hungry? We've got a fancy feast for you, courtesy of the composer."

"Indeed." They answered.

As they dined on the food and conversed. Lemmy, Iggy and Morton were bored out of their minds, so they eavesdropped on them from another room. "Now what?" Iggy griped. Lemmy turned away and a saw a vacuum, he grinned evilly and grew devil horns. "Ya thinking what I'm thinking?"

* * *

"Ludwig dear, have you thought out watching other shows besides _Downton Abbey_?" His mother inquired.

"Oh yeah? I am classically trained." Ludwig retaliated, "How's season twenty-seven of _The Simpsons_?"

"Well…"

"Don't care." Ludwig blurted. "That show just digs deeper and deeper."

"Still a jerkish smartass, I see." His father moaned.

Suddenly, the faint noise of a vacuum was heard in the distance. It grew louder and then the vacuum zoomed right beside them! The three troublemakers were riding it and getting out of control. It sucked up every piece of food it came into contact with and knocked over the table, making a huge mess. After a while of thrashing, the vacuum died. Lemmy, Iggy and Morton looked nervously as everyone was looking at them with angry eyes. Bowser had fiery eyes and snarled like a lion.

* * *

(cut to the throne room)

"What?! I'll buy you some more food!" Iggy complained.

"You really fucked up this time, you IDIOTS!" Ludwig shouted at them. "And now they are never coming back!"

"Ludwig, why don't you go ballistic somewhere else?" Bowser suggested, "I will handle this." Ludwig storms out and slams the door.

"Just when I thought none you could sink any lower, you have proved me wrong! This is the dumbest mistake you three have ever made, HANDS DOWN!" Bowser berated them.

Lemmy butted in, "But-"

"SHUT UP!" Bowser roared. "Here's what's going to happen." He gets out paper and pen. "One of you is going to write a letter of resignation by 8 PM. Nobody leaves the room until it's done and if you don't work it out, YOU'RE ALL FIRED!" He then leaves and slams the door.

Morton complained, "This is the last thing I need to today! First, my car breaks down and I have to get a ride from my dad to the store and back, and now this! Lemmy, stop playing around the write that letter!"

Lemmy was shocked. "Why me?!"

"The vacuum rodeo was your idea!" Morton shot back.

"Maybe if you didn't buy it at the store, I wouldn't have suggested it!" Lemmy defended.

"Don't blame me for your crap!" Morton seethed.

"Hey! Both you shut up! I'm on coffee break." Iggy muffled with a mouth of donuts. He had a box of donuts and a cup of coffee next to him.

"Where did you get those?!" Lemmy demanded.

Iggy nonchalantly pointed his thumb to Bowser's throne. Morton and Lemmy lunged at him and tried to grab the donuts. The three of them play tug of war with it.

"Why can't you do anything right?!" Morton strained.

"Why are you such a jerk?!" Lemmy asked him point blank.

The box breaks and the donuts scatter everywhere. All three koopas fall on the floor.

Bowser barges in. "What's going in here?!"

"Lemmy's being a sissy!" Morton hissed. "Iggy's being a pig!" Lemmy spat. "Morton's being an idiot!" Iggy barked.

"ENOUGH!" Bowser silenced them. "This is not party time, it's quitting time! If I have to come back in here again, I'm bashing heads!" He leaved the room.

"I'm not writing the letter!" They all said in unison.

* * *

At 6 PM, Lemmy peeked out the door to see if Bowser was anywhere, he wasn't, so Lemmy snuck out. Iggy stuck his head out and said, "Lemmy, don't make me chase you!" He waited for him, but he showed no sign of turning around. He sighed irritably and chased him into Lemmy's room. Lemmy was packing his suitcase.

"Lemmy! If Bowser sees us, we're dead!" Iggy warned.

"Then go back inside." Lemmy said bluntly.

Iggy ordered, "That's it, Lemmy! You march back in there right now or…" Suddenly the door creaked open. "Oh shit!" Iggy panicked and hid under Lemmy's bed. In came not Bowser, but Larry and Wendy.

"Lemmy?" Wendy asked in a confused tone. "What are you doing in here?"

Lemmy sighed, "You can come out, Iggy." Iggy crawled out from under the bed.

"Oh, hey Iggy." Larry said like nothing was wrong. "I thought Bowser was gonna fire you."

"Pfft." Lemmy scoffed. "He's bluffing."

Junior was talking outside. "But dad, you can't fire all of them!" He whined.

Lemmy gasped, but Iggy covered his mouth and shushed him. "We have to get out of here!" He whispered.

They looked out the door and saw Bowser turned away from them. They dashed back to the door of the room. Then they heard Bowser turn their way and say, "Maybe I'll check on them, see how they are doing."

Morton pulled them back in, locked the door and griped, "Where the hell have you two bozos been?!"

Before they could answer, Bowser tried to open the door, but couldn't. Iggy then unlocked the door.

"What the hell?!" Why did you lock it?!" Bowser queried Iggy.

"Uh… I did not lock it, it got stuck." Iggy lied. Bowser shot Morton and Lemmy a dirty look. They just gave him a confused glance. They helped him out by telling him, "Yeah, it sticks sometimes, heh heh."

Bowser narrowed his eyes and hesitantly left.

Morton was breathing heavily. "Woah, what did I just do? What am I feeling?"

Lemmy stated, "It's called being alive."

Iggy thanked him. "Thanks for…helping me out back there."

Lemmy said, "No problem."

* * *

At 7 PM, they all just stared at the paper.

Morton groaned, "Ugh, what do we do now? This job is my life." Then, he brainstormed an idea and smiled. "Lemmy, if you write the letter, I will forge his signature on a stellar letter of recommendation for your next job. What do you say?"

Lemmy was unsure. "I dunno. I can't think on an empty stomach." He pulls out a box of Hot Pockets.

"You're not gonna eat them cold, are you?" Iggy asked.

Lemmy whined "Geez, always even uptight about eating. You would do better at your next jobs if you two loosened up a bit." Morton is annoyed and snatches the box from Lemmy.

Lemmy said, "Hey! Come back!" Morton opened an air vent nearby and crawled into it. Lemmy followed, not having to crouch because he's small. "Where are we going?"

"The kitchen. We need to cook these things, not eat them raw." Morton answered. "I'm fine with eating them raw." Lemmy asserted. "We're better than that." Morton said. "I'm not." Lemmy talked back. They crawled through the ventilation maze.

They looked down the opening to the kitchen, no one was in there. "Coast is clear." Morton gestured. They landed on the floor. No one heard them. "We're just gonna reheat them and go, right?" Lemmy asked. "Yes." Morton answered. "I'll look out for Bowser." Lemmy said.

Morton looked for the microwave. He finds it, empties out the hot pockets, puts them in the microwave and sets the time to three minutes. Thirty seconds left and Bowser and Bowser Jr. begin approaching the kitchen.

"They're coming! Hurry!" Lemmy freaked out.

"I can't! They need to cook for three minutes!" Morton sweated.

Bowser was getting closer. Lemmy decided to run for it. "I'm bailing!" Lemmy spoke in a rush and jumped up the ledge. He pulled himself up.

"Come on!" Morton panicked.

"Morton, we have to go! Don't be stupid!" Lemmy gestured him to escape. The door creaked open. Lemmy hurriedly hid away. Morton grabbed the box and tried to disappear. Jr. and Bowser entered.

"Where's my popcorn? _The Grinch_ is playing on ABC Family." Junior queried.

"Probably in the pantry. Just wait until Universal does that remake of _The Grinch_." Bowser answered. He opened it and then turned around before he could be Morton hiding in there. Junior gasps, but Morton gestured him to be quiet. He slipped out before Bowser could turn his head towards the pantry. Morton tiptoed away, Junior let him exit the door and shut it. It caught Bowser's attention.

"What was that?" Bowser asked.

"What was what?" Junior asked, confused.

"Uh…never mind. I forgot." Bowser said.

* * *

Back in the throne room, the three koopas were laughing and eating the hot pockets.

"Oh Morton, what you did is crazier than me!" Iggy joked.

"Yeah, and you were right. They're better when hot." Lemmy added.

"Told ya." Morton shrugged.

"Dinner Club!" They all said in unison.

They played with their food, using them for skates, fake blood, slippers, guns, etc. Larry was hearing them and rolling his eyes. They did breakdancing, kickboxing, made paper boats and wore them like hats and other obnoxious things until got tired. They were lying on the floor.

"Iggy, what are you anxious about?" Morton asked.

Iggy answered, "Politics, business, annoying noises, what if no one replies to my e-mails, what if an animal escapes from the zoo, what if a burglar breaks in, sometimes I picture myself spiraling down into madness with boatloads of haunting imagery scarring me."

"Dude, you are sick and twisted." Lemmy commented. "Hey, Morton." Lemmy asked. "How are family troubles with Morton Sr.?

Morton sighed and spoke out honestly, "My dad always feels like I have too much brawn and not enough brains. He kept telling me to focus on my studies, but I never got around to it."

Lemmy said, "My dad always criticized me for having no lack of faith when it comes it physical prowess. He called me the runt of the litter."

* * *

 **Flashback**

" _Wake up, son! You have no physical talent! Go to college like everyone else!" Lemmy's dad criticized him._

" _Stop being a pessimistic pest!" Lemmy fought with him._

" _I'm trying to help you!" His dad shot back at him._

" _I'll show you! I will prove you wrong!" He then ran away and never saw him again._

 **End Flashback  
**

* * *

Lemmy continued, "I tried for football, but I ended up being the ball. I dropped out after that and realized he is right. Now it will probably be written on tombstone that I am just some stupid idiot.

"Don't say that." Iggy consoled. "You're more than that."

"Thanks, man." Lemmy smiled. "You guys are more than just some cuckoo heads." He looked at the clock. It was 7:55 PM!

Morton was shocked. "Oh no! What do we do now?"

Lemmy chimed in, "I'll do it. It's time I took responsibility for all of this."

Iggy proclaimed, "No, I will take the rap. I plan to get a spine and get my own life. No…I have an idea."

The clock struck eight. Bowser walked in for the letter, but saw nobody there.

"Where are they?" He asked to himself. Then he saw a piece of paper with writing on it. He read it:

* * *

Dear Bowser,

We accept that we messed up, but you're crazy to make one of us resign. You see us as you want to see us. In the simplest terms, you see us as a childish dork, a crazed genius and a brute. A guy who acts like a stupid dumbass, a guy who acts like a crazy dumbass and a guy who acts like a ruffian. We've had issues from our pasts, but we pull through. If one of us resigns, we all resign. Does that answer your question?

Sincerely,

The Dinner Club

P.S. Tell Mario he sucks.

* * *

"Wow." Bowser was astonished. "This may be the most noble and mature they have ever done. They came to the realization that what they did was wrong and they supported each through it all. Plus, where would I be without their dynamic and their flaming hatred of my worst enemy? You know what? I forgive them. Where are they?"

The trio walked into the direction of the moon, pumping their fists in triumph.


End file.
